Just when we thought our commute was getting routine, San Francisco reminds us that there is NEVER a dull moment.
We take the Yahoo! Shuttle to and from work (doing our part to help the environment, of course). It picks us up about 8 or so blocks from our apartment, so we usually catch the bus there and back. You would think taking the same buses at nearly the same time every day would get boring, but that is definitely not the case.
Take yesterday for example:
The morning was pretty mellow, nothing too out of the ordinary, but then again, our standards for ordinary have been severely skewed since we got here. The afternoon, however, left us wondering if we were the only normal people left in the city.
We arrived at the bus stop and were greeted by not one, but TWO buses! Very rare. Unfortunately, one bus was a different line. The other, conveniently, was not in service. Quite the tease, considering the bus was running with the driver in his seat, headphones in his ears, enjoying the sounds of the All Star game. He remained there, Not In Service, for at least the 20 minutes we spent at the stop.
I’ve never really been bothered by pigeons. Then again, I was never really forced to deal with pigeons that act like living kamikazes. These things walk up to you, then decide to take flight a mere 2 feet from you while aiming straight for your head. And no, I’m not exaggerating. These pigeons are all over the place. There’s just something about transportation hubs that really appeals to them, I guess. Normally the pigeons look a bit flustered, but yesterday, the day that made your neighborhood schizophrenic look as normal as June Cleaver, we encountered none other than a pirate pigeon. Yes, that’s right. A pirate pigeon. If they made miniature parrots for pigeons to carry around on their shoulders, this guy would have had one. He was that strange.
Meanwhile, as we’re staring at the pirate pigeon in partial shock and partial hysteria, there were two men on the corner diagonal from us preaching the bible. Not too strange, right? Until they disappeared and a third, much louder man began shouting what we think were verses from the bible at the top of his lungs. It took us a while to determine that he was, in fact, speaking English. He went on for about 10 of the 20 minutes.
As we received our spiritual educations in jibberish, we were interrupted by a rather stumbly, awkward man who decided to walk through the about 1 foot of space between Alex and I, nearly falling on top of me. He proceeded to apologize and try to start up a conversation. Alex and I then began talking about starbursts and orange cones. Anything to avoid talking to stumbly man.
Our bus finally arrived and we boarded. Just as we were about to sit down, we heard a loud thump. Turns out that stumbly man managed to find the one spot out of about 10 that didn’t have a seat in it. He fell right between the two. In Alex’s words after we got off of the bus: “It’s like me tripping right now and managing to miss the sidewalk when I fell.” I know we shouldn’t be laughing at others misfortunes, but by this point in our afternoon, it just got to be too much to keep a straight face.
So we got home safe and sound, save for a few brain cells lost in the lack of oxygen during our hysterical laughter. Alex has been waiting for a package from UPS for a while, and it turned out she had to go to the UPS center to pick it up. I decided to join her and we ventured out to retreive her package. Not to be outdone by stumbly man, we then met Mr. Sniffer. Mr. Sniffer was a man in about his 40’s, wearing a business suit. He looked as if he was commuting home from work. He was no ordinary commuter, though. Mr. Sniffer rested his head on the seat in front of him, which happened to be occupied by a rather attractive woman. He practically had his nose in her head. Creepy. She got off at the next stop. Smart girl.
After retreiving Alex’s package, which, incidentally, contained a pinked stuffed monkey. We tried to find a place to eat dinner. It turns out that the UPS center is pretty much in the middle of nowhere. We finally found a cute little taqueria to satisfy our hunger. In order to get back home, the nearest bus stop just HAPPENED to be under the highway. You know, like the spots they take people to “waste them” in mafia movies? Yeah. Lovely.
We got on the bus and tried to figure out which stop we had to get off. Overall Man was fascinated by our conversation and thought it appropriate to chime in. Think of this man as a combination of Super Mario and a typical “pull my finger” kind of uncle. OK? Now mix in a bit of homeless guy, and you have our newest character. Evidently, I was right about where we should get off, and Alex shouldn’t even bother debating with me because I’m always right. Oh, and the bus turns. Overall man proceeded to involve himself in everyone elses conversations too. Apparently, he’s also an expert in rock climbing equipment. In his assessment, the woman’s waist belt must have fibers in it. Thanks, Overall Man.
We only had 1 train left before we finally made it back to our peaceful apartment for the night. Given the course of the rest of the day, it wouldn’t have been right if we didn’t encounter another one of San Francisco’s hidden treasures. In the front corner of the train was a man, in his 20s or early 30s sitting on his bag on the floor. This man, however, appeared to be pants-less. He had a button up shirt on, but that was it. Did I mention he was also wearing blue makeup that resembled the face of someone who had just broken their nose? He did.
The train arrived at our stop and we got off. As we walked back to our apartment, we passed by a man, in a black pickup truck, screaming into his phone. “Who’s the one who takes her shopping?! YOU! That’s right! -insert more arguments-” It wouldn’t have been too bad if we weren’t on a very small, darkish street and he weren’t the only one on it beside us! It was fine though, we just picked up the pace a bit.
Once we turned the corner to our street, we saw a rickety old pickup truck that had been repurposed as a garbage picking mobile. Yesterday was recycling day. These people were going through everyone’s recycling bins collecting their cans and bottles to turn into the recycling center. Although it was a bit creepy, I can’t complain. At least they were doing a service…sort of.
Alex was so engrossed in the sight that she managed to walk right past our apartment. We were finally home.
There were a few other random characters that we passed along the way too, like the crack addict on the side of the building by the UPS center or the whistling, honking men in trucks, but this could have gone on forever. Oh, and in case you were wondering, No Pants Man DID have pants on. They were running shorts that didn’t come very far below his shirt. Why bother?!
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